Thursday, July 8, 2010

the stuff dreams are made of

I've come to anticipate the feeling. We'll be driving along, listening to music, chatting, laughing....and the car will slow, then stop. I now know why. But I never know when and I don't want to. I love the thrill of knowing but not knowing. I love the power that is wielded over me as well as the power I wield -- the power to make a moving vehicle stop. The power to seduce. The power of lust. The lightning bolt that is the male and female convergance of that power is mind-blowingly wonderful and fun!

On a beautiful country road that winds through the jungle and above the sea south of Hilo, we cruised along in the rental jeep. These drives are insanely exciting because the whole way, I know there will be pit stops. Really fun ones. But when and where is never discussed. We turned a corner past a jungle ravine. I looked to the right. There was no trail. Just a wide spot in the road. Whatever! Down we go, clothes flying off, towards the spring-fed creek. Not a soul in site. Just a couple of kids on an explore. The stream was gorgeous, a tropical paradise with perfect soaking stones, birds in the canopy and beautiful flowers all around.

On another drive, after freezing at 13,600 feet atop Mauna Kea, the jeep made a sharp turn onto a rough lava-strewn goat trail. It's like riding around in a magic car! We hopped out and wandered about naked like the ancient Hawaiians, exploring the rocks and warming ourselves like lizards on hot, sun-baked stones. Oh, that felt good.
Sometimes, it's just silly. "Naked road op!" (Example photo above). On a tiny little road in sugar cane land, the jeep came to a screeching halt, tossed BAK out onto the pavement and he started sprinting down the road. I whipped out the camera, giggling. Meanwhile, some lady was mowing her lawn on a mower that I could hear getting closer and closer and a guy on a tractor suddenly appeared behind BAK on the road. Hilarity! Quick! Take us away, magic car, before the cops show up!

My favorite pit stop was along the winding coastal road. We passed a swing that someone had hung from the palms with a perfect view of the ocean. I closed my eyes and imagined kicking my bare legs out and swinging into the perfect air. Shortly past that point, the magic car slowed. We got out and headed towards the cliff. I can still feel how good it felt to lie down atop a soft cotton sarong in the leaves. The perfect, clean air bathed our bodies. The sun shone down between my legs. (Girls, if you've never felt the sun between your legs, go NOW someplace and spread 'em. I feel like I'm repeating myself. Deja blog or have I issued this command before? Oh, it feels SO good!). And so it went. Just us crazy kids. Somehow, that magic car found a place for us to fuck in the weeds in Paradise -- inexplicably alone in one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world.


Snorkeling in Hawaii was a new experience for me. It made me nervous. Even training for triathlons I had some difficulty putting my face in the water. The air in the tube is thick and stale. Water leaked in through the corners of my mouth. The ocean felt immense. But oh how I wanted to be there, wanted to become a fish. I didn't quite make it. I tried scuba too, but was too frightened to go through with it. I loved breathing through the regulator -- waaaayyy better than a snorkel tube. The water was absolutely beautiful. But dammit, the ocean, again, felt much too enormous. I got in the water with all the gear and just couldn't erase all of the irrational fear and anxiety. That kind of failure totally pisses me off -- even worse than losing at Scrabble. I'm going to take a class and get the fuck over it. But one afternoon, snorkeling off of the nude beach, I did feel it start to happen. BAK reached over as we skimmed over the reef and put his hand on the small of my back, then signed, "I love you." It was a moment I'll never forget. Every bit of anxiety floated away. Poof! And then we swam above a beautiful green sea turtle. Be the turtle I keep telling myself, every day, even on land. Don't try to be a mermaid. Just be the turtle.

Swimming Naked above the Reef

Brine glazes my belly. A butterfly fish
flutters by. Sunlight splashes a mosaic
beneath the surf. A moment
of infinite promise. You reach
across the current, fingers
outstretched. You there in the big blue,
graceful and easy as a turtle. Stroke
the aching curve of my outstretched spine,
slide your palm along the concave abalone
of my naked iridescent shell. Hold me
in a place of pure, unadulterated trust.
Take me there again.
Be my breath and set me free.


BadAssKona said...

As always, your writing is so evocative and fun! Just like our road trips! Oh, LOOK! A side road! Look! Ibises! Look! Pretty flowers! Look! A lonely road, just waiting for a naked runner!

Gina Marie said...

Oh look! A life lived but once!

Erobintica said...

Yes, I have felt the sun between my legs. 'Tis exquisite.

Love "Brine glazes my belly"

Gina Marie said...

Spread 'em, baby!!!!