Sunday, February 14, 2010

Beast


"Beast."


"Beastess."


"Beastier."


"Damn, baby, this sure is a nice way to watch football."


"Mmmmm....." (popping sound, licking of lips) "sure is" (silence, sloppy sucking sounds).


____________________________


"Sexy."


"Sexier."


"Sexiest."


"Oh yum."


"Well, I have to say, this is the best way to watch the morning news, wife."


"Mmmmmm....." (muffled, barely understandable muttering....yeth it ith...ymmmy ymmm."


_____________________________


"Where does it hurt?"


"Back molars, gums & jaw."


Dentist sticks fingers in ears.


"Open your mouth. Does that hurt?"


"Ow!"


"Just as I suspected."


"Your jaw joint is out of place."


"Uh.....really? How could that happen?"


"Nobody ever remembers how it happens (evil Little Shop of Horror Mormon Dentist laughter, patient fighting off naughty smirk)."


"Oh."


"What do I do now?"


"Take pain killers, muscle relaxers, and avoid chewy foods. No gum or jerky or crunchy fruits or vegetables for you for awhile."


"Uh, OK. Thank you."


"You're welcome. We'll see you in two weeks for a follow-up. Take your medicine."


Sure thing, doc. Sheesh! Of all the......


4 comments:

Craig Sorensen said...

Yikes. Get well soon!

Shanna Germain said...

Omg... I love this telling of the story. You rock my silly little world!

Gina Marie said...

Patient is recovering well, thank you.....and being a very, very good girl. Mostly.

Shanna Germain said...

Hahaha. Right....