Monday, August 24, 2009

Live Wrong

A stiff wind blew my nipples hard. “Arrrggghhh! he said, “Aarrrrrgggghhh and ahoy!” The pirate King stood tall at the base of Cock Rock, pissing in the warm shallows, scratching his balls with my tongue and laughing my ass off.

“Oh, them are some hard nips me dirty little whore! Them are some ship-building nipples!”

Our laughing made the wind blow harder and toppled a few mountains and scared the eagles away.

Then we flopped like mud skippers into the dark, briny goo and scooted our bodies across the muddy, sandy flat, squinting and splashing. Animal dreams. Evolution fish re-entering the sea. No religious texts necessary. Just do it. Just did it. Live Strong. Live Wrong. My fingers opened and closed deep into the mud and I couldn’t stop the urge. I lobbed a mud bomb at the Pirate King’s back. Splat! Another one dirtied his ass. He returned fire, of course, with perfect aim.

We are turtles in the sun. We are monster sturgeon gliding along through the depths. We are the last creatures on earth. We are eating the sky with our laughing and tasting the earth with our toes.

I don’t ever want to leave. I want to go native. I want to bury all of my clothes in a deep, sandy hole and live in a tree above the dunes, spear fish, fuck endlessly, gather wild mint, roast roots over the fire, fart and scratch and kiss and spin ‘round and ‘round.

But we must depart and re-enter civilization. Thankfully, there is a strong, warm shoulder and a cool leather couch, and there is cuddling up to watch Young Frankenstein (Frahnk-en-steeeeen) all sleepy tired and happy relaxed with the Pirate King’s hands in the wench’s hair and we hang on tight to all the sweet, simple goodness because we can. And it’s good to relax because building ships with hard nipples is hard work.

It is good to drift awhile here with you and just be. Thankful.


Danielle said...

gosh..i m sorry..for the first time i cant concentrate on the words..the picture is just too fucking beautiful...i m stare somemore at the pic..and to read the words finally...

Jeremy Edwards said...

Ha! Just like "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours": "You laugh my ass off, I'll laugh yours off." Now that's what I call teamwork!!

neve black said...

"...We are eating the sky with our laughing and tasting the earth with our toes...." splendid!

Best. Damn. Movie. Ever.

Yes, I would say building ships with hard nipples is certainly hard work, but well worth it, yes?

BadAssKona said...

ARrrrrr...them nips is like the beak of a giant squid and can pound a 32-pound nail into the heart of me timbers with a single blow! And ye ain't seen nothin' me mateys, 'til ya seen me siren in the briny mud!

Word Verification: "huinetr"
Def: A person who tries to catch hurling puke in a net.

Gina Marie said...

Sorry to distract you so thoroughly, Danielle, but I agree. I stared at that one for a few hours before I could even get it up on my blog! Hope you come back eventually :)

Jeremy -- exactly! Teamwork! Woo-hoo! Amazing what we can accomplish when naked and happy.

Hi Neve -- yay! A fan of Young Frahnk!

BAK -- I'm glad you are man enough to not be afraid of those nail pounding squid beaks! Oh how I love the briny mud!

Craig Sorensen said...

Quiet dignity...and...grace.

And my favorite: "come back, I was going to make espresso!"

Excellent post, and of course, excellent taste in movies.