To the birthday girl!!!!
What do you get for the first woman who got you out of your jeans? I mean, really!!!
I want to buy her a post office -- her very own. I even found one for sale. I want to buy her a constellation -- you know, the girl in the sky in the schoolgirl mini, bent over, cheeks flushed, over there southeast of the Milky Way. I want to buy her a solid gold paddle and a matching set of golden Ben Wa balls. I want to throw her a ticker tape panty parade with truckloads of firefighters carrying hoses and AT on their shoulders while wearing nothing but their sexy red sheer "manties." I want to buy her the moon.
But.....the most realistically do-able gift is hot vinyl. For you Alison, soon to be arriving at your adopted post office, a record for you to spin. I hope you like it -- Prince, the "Scandalous Sex Suite from 1989." There's even some pillow talk with Kim Bassinger on it.
In a way, I owe Alison Tyler my life. My first introduction to her was a blog discussion between her and Shanna Germain about dirty vs. naughty. Of course I knew, but at that moment I consciously realized it. "Oh yeah baby" (Barry White voice) "You're a very dirty girl." Then the Panty Parade popped up. Of course I wanted to. I actually lost sleep over it. Could I be so bold, so horribly brazen as to send Alison Tyler a photo of my schmunderwear? What if the PTA found out??? Eeeeck! A friend said, "DO IT." That's kind of like triple dog dare in tree nymph language. So I did. I sent Alison the photo above after a secret 10-second-timer session in my bathroom. Look how demure, how modest. The photo that's on the panty blog now is actually a couple of months later, when I was really getting gutsy, running around the neighborhood half-dressed and stripping in the woods. Why Alison, you sure got me fired up!
Then I started entering AT contests, sending in actual WORDS (way more brazen than nudie shots) got more "out there" on my own blog, and realized that no, the sky wasn't going to fall, it was just going to rain bra's and panties and hail sex toys!!!!
Happy Birthday to you Alison. You made me brave! You gave me eagle's wings where there were chicken wings. You continue to make me smile and cry and laugh and be grateful for people like you nearly every day with your energy and your gutsiness and your storytelling and balls of titanium.
I love you! May all of your naughtiest birthday wishes come true....and Prince is holding his breath....as he is in the mail to you and awaiting the touch & grind of your needle on his gleaming black vinyl.
Now bend over and take your birthday spanking like a good dirty girl!