Wednesday, April 8, 2009

As free as the wind blows

Get ready to ride! The World Naked Bike Ride is just around the corner. In Oregon, this means lots of pale & painted bodies streaking through the city.....and from there, who knows what might happen.

Freedom Road
Part 1

“Ever consider that the wildflower meadows of heaven aren’t way off somewhere else at all but right here on earth – under your feet and between my legs?”

Serena was laughing hysterically, arm stuck through the jail cell bars as she shook an accusing finger at the jailer.

“Shame on you if you haven’t!”

She’d be stark raving naked – we all would – if we weren’t wearing orange jail pajamas. She had a big smile on her face, her eyes crinkling in the corners the way truly happy faces do. She was preaching in a sweet, pleased-to-meet-you kind of way to this puff pancake of a jailer, her face cocked sideways and pressed against the steel…..and fuck if she wasn’t getting through to him. He began shifting on his feet, a pink glow spreading from his neck to his cheeks.

“Heaven isn’t anyplace at all if it’s not in that meadow up on that little ridge over there, a quarter mile from the most beautiful waterfall you ever saw” our freedom fighting Serena continued, tossing her blonde beaded braids. “Ever consider that sin is the opposite of what you’ve been taught? Ever consider that covering up our beautiful God-given flesh is actually cause for a good swat on the ass from the Lord’s own hand – but he’s OK with that too because enjoys a good spanking as much as you do? Maybe it’s the no’s and not the yeses in our lives that we pay for in the afterlife, eh jailer? Maybe the Great Spirit would love nothing more than for the people to get their asses up off the hard church benches, splash around in buckets of wine, and light up the world with song and dance. Just saying.”

Puffy smiled weakly and shoved a clipboard through the bars.
“I haven’t considered it Ma’am because that’s not my job. Now if you’d all please sign the papers we’ll take care of the fine and get you out of here…..”

“Sunshine, I, that is we will not be paying a fine today because we have done no wrong.”

Serena tossed her hair again and glanced at me and my lover, that is our lover on days like this, King James, as we leaned up against one another on a bench. “Isn’t that right JillyBean?”

“That’s right Serena my lovely,” I said, standing up and going to her, hugging her tightly and kissing the soft skin of her neck. Puffy looked on wide-eyed.

“You’ll figure it out soon enough. Public nudity is not a crime in this glorious state of Or-ee-gun,” I said, locking eyes with the poor boy. “We have the right to be free of constrictions as matter of freedom of speech. Besides, we’re protesting today, which makes our rights even more clear. We’re on a freedom ride.”

“Ever consider that the pearly gates aren’t a gate at all, but your lips wrapped tight around a sexy man’s hard, sun-warmed cock?” Serena said plainly. I couldn’t help but agree. King James just sat back and smirked.

“Oh, that’s heaven right there,” Serena said turning back to Puffy. “I know it like I know you need some lovin’ in your life,” Serena crooned as Puffy began to quiver in shock and, I’m sure of it, lust. “There, there sweet thing, just slip that hungry little willie of yours through the bars there baby, I’ll….”

Well, there’s no place I’d rather not be than locked up in the Hood River jail for even a second, believe me. But when you find yourself in an odd situation where you’re wearing somebody else’s pants and sitting on a cold steel bench drinking kool aid from a Dixie cup, I believe you might as well relax and consider the experience a trippy side-street along the Freedom Road.
Hey Shanna -- thanks for saving the digital camera
for me at your garage sale. It works great -- I took a pic of my cherry blossoms for you --
blooming in the sun and dancing in the light of the Full Pink Moon.
Spring! Yay!


Erobintica said...

Or-ee-gun - yay! Is so funny - around these parts (east coast) they tend to say or-ee-gone - unless they know better. Has been a source of much amusement for us as former Oregonians (though only 3 years, but that counts).

Fun story - and brrrrrrr, considering we had snow flurries today, I don't think they'll be having one of those around here.

neve black said...

Hi Missy Cherry Blossom Pants!

Loved the story. How's Aphrodite's Table doing these days?

Craig Sorensen said...

I grew up calling it Or-i-gun.

And in most places other than the capitol city of Idaho, they call it Boy-zee. Only natives and the well informed call it Boy-see

Bet Kirsten knew that. :-)

I loved the story. Go nudists!

I like the twists on sin.

Good stuff, as always, Kirsten.

Wander.Lust said...

Oh, baby, they're gorgeous and yummy and sweet! What a beautiful pix! I'm so so so glad it's working for you!

Love, me.

PS - My password is huncr. -grin-

Kirsten Monroe said...

Hi Robin! Brrrrr is right! A naked indoor bike ride might be in order.

Neve -- woo! The table is ready for a picnic!

Thanks so much Craig. Actually -- I didn't know that about boyzzzz :) I have always said Boy-see but din't know there was another way. Of course, I grew up in Oregin with a Dad from Indiana and a Mom from Seattle. It was all 'taters & oysh-ters.

Shanna!!! Thanks for stopping by. Miss you sum-thin terr-eee-bull!