Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hippity hump

Before ritalin there were toys on springs.
Unfortunately, my bouncy horse paid the price!


So much excitement out there, with Shanna's announcement (don't go, go!) and Jeremy's Hump Day Heresy over at Smut Girl's place and Neve's interview with Donna George Storey, and EllaRegina's super awesome review by Jane's! Makes me giddy. Makes me want to hop on my rocking horse. Makes me want to go hang out with Lolly Jane and Liz at the ranch and devour some fruiting berries. Somebody please tell me that June is just around the corner.

Have a fabulous hippity hump of a day!

And now, because I just can't stop, from my Alison Tyler contest archives:

Fuck me on Top

“Maybe next Saturday,” I said, reclined on my bunk and sharpening my Buck knife with a whetting stone after a long day of ranching. “We should go into town, kiss in public, and wash our undies.”

“Kiss in public?” Lolly Jane snorted. “How revolutionary. Come on, tough guy. How about some real adventure? I want you to fuck me all along the trail from Ape Cave to the Plains of Abraham. I want you to fuck me silly when we get to the top – the top of Old Broken Top. I bet nobody’s fucked up there before.”

“The wild strawberries are fruiting,” I said. “Will you pick some and feed them to me after I spank you with a freshly cut sapling?”

“Listen to you, Liz,” Lolly Jane said. “Fruiting berries? Who talks like that?” She let out her hair and shook the thick brown waves. Such a brat and so fucking cute. I could just bite her berries poking out at me through her dirty, smelly t-shirt.

I wiped the steel dust from my jeans and flipped her off with the talented middle digit of my right foot. Then I pulled Lolly Jane onto the sagging mattress with me and showed her exactly what I meant by that gesture.

The next thing I knew, it was 8 a.m. and I had my ass slung over the backside of a mossy log, pissing like a cat on a hot tin roof and gazing up into a brilliant patch of blue sky above the ponderosas.

I smiled at the sound of twigs cracking off in the bushes -- the sound of Lolly Jane on her hands and knees -- picking strawberries.


Jeremy Edwards said...

That definitely out-cutes my hedgehog picture—by a thousand furlongs. Thanks for sharing!

Spamword: oksted (an Oklahoma homastead?)

Neve Black said...

Sooo damn cute! You never grew out of that beautiful smile, did you?

BadAssKona said...

That smile could make Paul Bunyan leave Babe and wack down every tree from Minnesota to Oregon....

Kirsten Monroe said...

Jeremy, it has to at least be a tie because that is the cutest little hedgie I've ever seen!

Hi Neve, I didn't grow out of lots of things, especially my love of bouncing!

BAK -- nice loaf! You're funny :)

Kirsten Monroe said...

I just added a link to EllaRegina's excitement:

Apologies -- in my bouncing, I forgot to include it on the first go and I'm doubly thrilled to have learned by the way of a rousing discussion on roasting marshmallows that EllaRegina and myself were both Campfire Girls!! I wonder if EllaRegina liked to wake her cabin mates up before daylight in the morning also and if she and loved, loved, loved it as much as I did when the leaders taught us silly fun stuff like if you put your elbows on the table you squash the fairies and that tree roots on the trail are giant's fingers trying to grab your ankles. Wakey wakey! Rise and Shine! Ding-ding! Time's a wasting!

Erobintica said...

That's a fun story Kirsten. Do you remember what the "theme" was? I love this- I had my ass slung over the backside of a mossy log. Ah, the great outdoors!

Umm, I was a girl scout - it always sounded like campfire girls had more fun.

EllaRegina said...

Hey, KM!

How nice of you to give me that shout-out! Thank you!

No, at camp I was too busy watching barnyard animals do "funny" things and peering through holes in the boys' bunk walls after reveille. I spent a lot of time in the Campfire Camp Brig. There were no marshmallows there.

I'm happy to see "Fuck me on Top" again. How can you not love a story with a Lolly Jane in it!?

EllaRegina said...

PS What a cute kid you were!

Donna said...

You were adorable, Kirsten! I had one of those horsies, too, named Pal, until his head tore off from the rough treatment. I was a Brownie and Girl Scout, too, but not a Campfire Girl. Still, I think I see a pattern... I rode real horses, too, when I was old enough. Bareback, but never naked, though :-).

Craig Sorensen said...

Great little story!

My verification word is theem.

It appears that today's theem in blogland is "cute," which Kirsten was, and is.

Emerald said...

What a cute picture! My sisters and I had a toy horse like that too, and I LOVED it. I too was a lover of the bouncing as a kid. ;)

Kirsten Monroe said...

This is great! So much in common! Bouncing, roasting sticks, rough treatment of toys on springs....what a wonderful world!