Sunday, November 2, 2008

These boots are made for streetwalking

The night was wet.

So it's dark and cold and wet and all drizzly. Driving in my new winter boots with 6-inch heels (put my 4-foot-ten-inch bod up into the clouds!) was like typing with fake nails. I kept gunning the gas and fumbling the clutch. Anyway, I couldn't find this Disjecta place where Booty Call 6 was supposedly being held. I'm ten minutes late and starting to panic. This is my big night out! I have to fucking get there. Let's go! So I pull into an empty lot and park and start walking. This is a very creepy part of town -- literally on the other side of the tracks. Light rail tracks, but hey -- I've just descended from the 'burbs. I walk past a pub and and around a corner, cross the street in my big tallness, past one of Portland's more illustrious landmarks -- the Dancing Bare strip club and clip-clop along until I see a sign that says, "Sidewalk ends." Fuck!

There is nobody around. Just junkyard dogs, chainlink fences and buzzing neon on the creepy corner market windows.

I head back to find a person to ask -- hopefully a friendly member of the species....where this fucking artsy fartsy Disjecta place is. Is it a trick to keep the dorks like me out? Did everyone else get "special directions?" be continued!


Jeremy Edwards said...

You've got us on the edge of our sidewalk!

I hope you didn't miss PORTLAND'S EROTICA SUPERSTAR!

Jeremy Edwards said...

Ooh, the next spamword in queue is a beaut: coiddica

The mind reels.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Ha! And the next one is feindsme.

That's where you'll feindsme.

This could go on all night. (But I promise it won't.)

Neve Black said...

Oh my God! What do you mean TBC...? Nooooo! I'm biting my nails and getting all jiggly wondering where those boots walked to next. Damn.

Nice choice on the new winter boots, chica!