Friday, September 19, 2008

You. Pants off. NOW!


Avast ye mateys! Today is known across the flat world as "Talk Like a Pirate Whore Day." I added the whore part, but that sort of goes without saying, doesn't it? There arent' any lady pirates, only wenchy ones.

I'm actually getting ready to hoist the sails and go on an evening cruise beneath fair skies with one of my favorite pirate wench friends. Joy! Good rum, good food, good times. And of course we'll have to practice our knot tying.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates
By popular demand ...
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!


2 comments:

Neve Black said...

Pirates always remind me of the Pirates of the Carribean ride at Disneyland. Yoa, ho, yoa ho, a pirate's life for me.

Fun post. :-)

Kirsten Monroe said...

I LOVE that ride -- it was always my favorite. That and Peter Pan's Flight and the log ride :)